2 weeks

This girl.  Can I just say how much my heart explodes with her?  She has brought such healing and peace to me as I rock her late into the night.  She definitely has her fussy times, but overall, she has been a content and happy baby.  She's a fantastic eater which has been a new experience and is such a weight off my shoulders.

Things are getting exciting as a mother of 3.  The sleepless nights are starting to affect my patience and stamina throughout the day (she's still getting up religiously every 2-3 hours day and night to eat which is a new thing for me.  My others would give me 4-5 hour stretches right from the get-go).    We are always able to do what the Lord asks us to do (with our Savior's help).  What a strength it is to me to know that I can drop to my knees to receive patience, to know how to help a broken little heart, to strengthen my resolve to remember that this work is important, to keep the eternal perspective on days I'm exhausted.

Today was a fussy day for little one.  She cried all day unless I was holding her and she didn't nap well.  The other kids screamed (both happy and sad screams) all day and at all times, all 3 wanted to be on my lap.  We just got back from vacation late last night (I got 3 hours of sleep total through-out the night), and a guest is coming tomorrow.  My house is a MESS from our vacation and I couldn't work on it as much as I wanted because of the needs of my children today.  But, I figure if the guest really likes me, they'll accept me for who I am, and today that means that there are toys on the floor, luggage piled downstairs, laundry (sorted and some washed and folded to be put away) all over the basement.  And do you know what?  I can't do more than that today.  My eye-lids are closing and I still have a million things to do.  And so while my dishes are done (serious drop of awesome there!) the toys will need to wait, because this angel little face is starting to stir and will want to be fed and then rocked to sleep before my weary eyes can close.  And so, dear friends, please be patient with my house and my pajamas because I can only do so much; my life is a series of seasons right now.  Some days my priority is my home, some days the priority is a few errands I need to run, other days the priority is exercising, or simply rocking these beautiful babies I have been blessed with.  And I've found that having simple priorities each day and letting the non-priorities slide that day has enabled me to find fulfillment in a time full of taking care of others needs.

3 children 3 and under is a lot of needs and a lot of helplessness.  It is also a lot of kisses and hugs, and being wonderfully needed.  It is a lot of spilled milk (literally and figuratively).  It's wiping noses and bums and spit up and cleaning carpet for the up-tenth time.  It's arms wrapped around my legs as I cook, hands pulling me to help them, tiny hands wrapped around my fingers.  It's my name being called a million times a day; and it's the best name..."Mom". It's 3 children on my lap as I nurse my infant.  It's crying and melt-downs and stepping on toys wherever I step.  It's beautiful chaos and it is everything I ever dreamed it would be.  It is exhausting and draining and building and edifying.  It is hard and easy and beautiful and awful and lovely and dreary and lonely and needing-along-time and exhilarating and perfect.

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." -2 Nephi 2:11