courage

            "Have the courage to step out of what feels comfortable into what you know is right."

self portrait-my family

I'm not sure if it's cheating, but this week I  included my whole family with my "self portrait".  This is our life each afternoon, everyone was just doing what they normally do-I literally just set my camera on the table and jumped in the picture.  I love that E was curled up on Nate's lap, that B was cooing to J who was reaching up to touch his face; and it all happened with that afternoon light pouring in our window.  Nate's work laptop open on the couch, toys strewn about the floor, and freshly picked-up dry cleaning on the chair add chaos to the photo, but this is my life and all of those parts are what makes us work.  As I've mentioned before, I photograph mostly to show that real life is beautiful, real life is messy and noisy and perfectly imperfect.  And if that's true, I shouldn't have to move all clutter out of the photo, because to me...it is part of my beautiful.

My goal is to have more pictures that include my whole family, so here's the start.  E's face is classic and so natural for her.  I love that.

thankful

Because it's November, I'm officially excited to photograph some of the things I'm most thankful for.  I couldn't let today pass without taking a picture of this man.  This guy loves me enough to pose on the front step for me (with all of our kids crying in the car) before heading to my parent's for Blake's birthday dinner.  He kind of hates having his picture taken-he just isn't sure how to pose.  Thus him laughing, he was pulling some ridiculous faces as I was trying to take his picture, thus this laugh.  He was cracking up at teasing me.  I LOVE his laugh wrinkles around his eyes. 

                              I'm so thankful that I'm married to a man who puts the Lord first. 

Halloween

Today is Halloween, and while Jorie is wearing her skeleton outfit, these pictures wouldn't otherwise hint to the day.  They are not typical Halloween photos with my kids dressed up darling and smiling for the camera.  But they do show a beautiful relationship between Brig and Jor.  You wouldn't believe how much he loves his little sister.  He is forever kissing her and calming her when she cries (see pic below).  He says in a SUPER high pitch voice, "Hi, Baby Jorie!" about 2 inches from her face EVERY. TIME. HE. SEES. HER.  I love that this series shows a bit of their relationship.

Look at his little crinkled eyes because he's smiling and trying to make her happy.  He also reached out to grab her little hand and cooed to her "it's ok baby Jorie.  It's ok."

And just because I need to remember it somewhere, I'll add the obligatory costume picture.  Brigg was sobbing because Eden was Elsa and he REALLY wanted to be Elsa too, and Jorie was getting fussy.  So, I just flipped to AUTO (gasp!  It has been a long time since I've done that) and used that horrid flash, but I captured a moment-which I love.  Just act like it isn't on my photography blog:)

Half dressed crying batman (he didn't want to wear his muscles or his mask...you know, the ones he's been wearing ALL month), pink glow in the dark skeleton, and Elsa who didn't want her hair done.  #nailedit

day 86:

Sometimes the picture for the day won't load on blogspot.  So, I added this picture instead-also taken today, just more of a snap shot.  These 2 are buds, and Hubs is kind enough to take care of rinsing B off after particularly messy meals; this one involved chocolate ice cream which was rubbed in the hair.  I just love my boys.

day 55: this good man

        This good man sent me to take a nap this afternoon.  When I woke up, this is what I saw. 

day 50: lunch date

Okay,   I need some serious practice in the "food photography" area.  But, I wanted to remember that Hubs bought me Great Harvest for an at home lunch date.  It was fantastic.  If you've never had a sandwich from them, you must go.  May I just add that I LOVE days when Hubs in home?  It always becomes a wonderful mix of getting things done, and being lazy.

Also, E loves peanut butter sandwiches.  Like, loves, loves them.  I won't let her have them for breakfast or dinner (trying to get her to eat other things), but I let her have 1 (or 2-told you she loves them) EVERY day for lunch.  We go through peanut butter and jam so fast you wouldn't believe it.  I think some raspberry bushes are in our very near future.  She's also particular about her jam.  She won't eat anything other than raspberry or strawberry.  AHHH!  I am eating my words with this child. 

None of my siblings are picky and I assumed (and judged) mothers of picky eaters by thinking that naturally it's because you "let" them be picky.  Oh, to all of you wonderful mothers of picky eaters, I am SO SORRY.  I am eating my "before-I-was-a-mother"/"before-I-had-you-as-a-child" words.  E would spit out every vegetable of baby food folks.  You can't tell me that was me doing it.  I would even mix her green bean baby food with peaches and such.  Nope, my 5 month old child would spit it all out of her mouth. I tried every day, multiple times a day for MONTHS.  I tried mixing it with different things, serving it in different textures, and temperatures... I should've known then that it would be a LONG ride to get her to eat normal food.

 I am so tired of making PB&Js with the crust cut off.  Luckily Hubs jumps right in and does that for me on his days off.  Also, I am teaching E to do it herself.  We're in serious "self-reliance" mode around here for her.  We're working on combing her own hair, washing herself during bath time, making PB and J's, cutting her own bananas, folding and putting away clothes, ect.  It's a marathon, but she is feeling some serious satisfaction from doing things by herself.

day 35: e goes to sunbeams

 First things first.  Hubs grew a mustache over Christmas break (well part of it, we took family pictures half way through so he had to shave it for that).   This mustache is a big deal.  When we were first married (4 1/2 years ago), he once grew a mustache for 5 weeks and you still couldn't see it.  People now comment on it after a week.  He's quite proud.

I'm also appreciative that he allowed me to take his picture.  And he let me try out my reflector too-which was awesome to play with.  That's how I got tiny catchlight, I still need to work on it, but it's a good first go.

 In more exciting news, this girl went to sunbeams for the first time today.  She was a little hesitant as we passed her nursery class and entered the primary (where every other new sunbeam was screaming their eyes out).  She hung on to my leg for just a minute until I talked her through the fact that I would be back to get her after class and then she sat in her little chair and proceeded to talk to her friend through the whole first 5 minutes of primary with teachers employing EVERY tactic to convey the point that they needed to sit and listen:)  I can see the comments on the report cards already!

We'll work on that.  But she came home from her first day in "big kid class" with a huge smile on her face ready to go back for more fun next week.  I'm so grateful for wonderful teachers who help my kids get excited about learning at church.  And I'm more grateful for a wonderful daughter who makes my whole world go round. 

day 34: sick day. again.

 We're having ANOTHER sick day around here.  All of our neighbors are sick, half of our church congregation was sick last week, it's just going around.  But, sick days are full of cuddles and sitting on the couch together. 

Hubs has been a total champ.  This man has been up all night for like 3 nights straight with sick kids and I and he still has the energy to wrestle those beautiful babes of ours.  I was excited to try this new lighting technique and I think it worked out well for my first time; I'm proud of the use of shadows and light.

 With E being so sick, she doesn't care about B playing with her toys.  He loves playing with her little princesses with all his heart but she won't ever let him touch them (which is probably what makes them so enticing).  So he took FULL advantage of playing with them while she was occupied.  Don't worry, he likes manly things to, but when big sister thinks things are really cool, they must be...right?!

B loves getting undressed these days.  Each day after his nap I find him without pants on (at least he keeps the diaper on!) and most of the time both socks are missing instead of just the one.   How I love this, sweet, happy boy of mine.

day 27: camera bag

My Hubs bought me a BEAUTIFUL camera/diaper bag for Christmas.  A bag I've been coveting but never told him because I knew we couldn't afford something so pricey.  But, somehow he knew and even more amazingly, he somehow found it on sale in our price range.  I can now officially take my camera with me wherever I go because this bag can also fit both kids' diapers, wipes, my phone, planner, wallet, sippy cups, camera charger, and more lenses for when that blessed day arrives:)

The camera came with me to Old Navy today and also the BYU basketball game.  I was planning on taking a bunch of pictures at the game, but decided I'd rather not have the bag between my legs all game long, so I settled on having the phone to document that moment.  I'm so excited to have my nice camera with me wherever I go without having to carry 2 bags plus my 2 kids.  It really is a beautiful thing.

The bag is brown, but I wanted to play with black and white because I wanted to show the beautiful texture on the bag.  I'm a blessed woman to have a husband to continues to find such unexpected ways to show me he loves me (most of the time without using gifts). 

day 25: christmas

Like I said, my photography was not stellar this weekend.  Knowing this, and knowing my rule that I have to take everything manually this year, I did video for most of our Christmas morning.  I didn't want to miss those sweet smiles.  And good thing, because the photos that I did take were not fantastic.

I did capture Hubs and my new shoes.  Unknowingly, we both bought each other running shoes.  Looks like we'll have to head out for a family run...if only Santa had brought us new tires for our jogging stroller.

We had a very merry Christmas and were able to go to my parent's home for a gingerbread pancake breakfast and to see their Christmas and then Hub's family came to have dinner with us and see spend time with us.  It was a wonderful day and we were so grateful to have our first Christmas morning in our new home.

day 24: nativity

We always act out the nativity on Christmas Eve.  This year had a few improvisations.  B was Joseph and E was an Inn Keeper with me.  B decided that he really needed to ride the donkey (Hubs) so pregnant Mary had to walk along-side acting quite uncomfortable at that:)

As B knocked on the Inn's door, E popped out and said "No Room!" at which point B busted through the cardboard and entered anyway.  E joyously sang out "Wow!! There really was room in the Inn!!".  I love the innocence and love of children.  We had such a special time celebrating our Savior's birth with our family.

day 10: beautiful mess

Today E was sick again.  Like really sick.  We lay on my bed all day with her hot, sticky face on my chest.  She whimpered and cried as her stomach got upset before throwing up.  Hubs was a complete life saver today; he was home sick too, but he watched B and raked our leaves so that I could cuddle and soothe E.  I had to force him to lay on the couch and let me make him lunch.  He lives to serve me and make my life easier.  I hope I can become as selfless as he is;  I'm glad that I have such a good mentor to help me get there.

When E finally fell asleep, I walked in to find this.  And the lyrics to a song came into my mind.  "What a beautiful mess, what a beautiful mess I'm in.  Spendin' all my time with you; there's nothing else I'd rather do."  And it hit me how incredibly blessed I am to have this house full of people to take care of...laundry, sickness and all.  Sometimes my house is a disaster zone (it's 11:24pm and the dishes need to be done, the laundry put away, and there are still toys in my front room...). But all this mess means that I was hugging those sick babies, I was attending 2 church obligations I had this evening while Hubs somehow got the kids in bed by himself even though he was feeling under-the-weather.  It meant that I got home and decided to spend time with a very deserving husband who'd been ignoring his own needs all day.  The mess means that there is tomorrow and all of those things can be taken of then.  I truly live in a beautiful mess.  And I'm forever grateful.